sleepingchild:

shilmulo: (via helloalena)

(via imasexmachine)

ukulelly:

If you don’t want to read it, you really don’t have to.

Anxiety is the thing I think about most, every second of every day. I think about it more than Boyfriend, more than my parents, more than clothes, more than Buffy and more than Nerdfighteria. That’s because anxiety influences every single…

So very, very true. Anxiety is something that dominates every aspect of your life - I can work out ways to deal with and work around my Autism, but I have never found a way to effectively deal with anxiety.

I currently take anti-anxiety medication every day, and while this has been a life-changing experience (I can, for the first time, text my closest friends without a half-hour internal battle over each message) the anxiety is still there. The medication puts a cap on it, stopping it from taking over my life, but I still get panic attacks.

This has been the biggest down side of the medication - I get panic attacks, but without the panic. So I get diaphragm cramps that are the most painful thing that I have ever felt (and I am including in this rupturing the ligament that holds your leg together through the knee, and the time after they fixed it that my leg cramped and I threw up because it was so painful), and the last one continued for an hour and a half, and you know what?

I still get up and take those pills every day, because that is better than the alternative. The pain is worth controlling the anxiety. It is worth me being in control of my life.